Salah's College Chronicles Vol. 2

 Coming back to school for my second year in the College was very easy for me. I had my mind set to enjoy the year and block any unnecessary noise and bad vibes. As usual, those seniors came and said 300l was going to be hard, we'd need to work hard, blah blah blah. In my mind, I just said Eshey, E Ku ife (Thank you for your love), no one was going to stress me. I had a routine at the beginning of every semester where I missed the first week of lectures, so that I'd know which lecturers would be taking us, make I no go loose guard. Omo, unfortunately the day I resumed, the lecturer gave us a test in ANA 303. Me that I had not even collected last class information Ha! I sha did the test, I was sure I wasn't getting a zero sha. 

Because I wanted to just chop life throughout the session, my attendance was not great. I actually didn't skip classes, I only went whenever I wished to. Me and Mahmud especially, we became legendary late comers. One day, we were late as usual and the lecturer was on the podium, teaching the class. Mahmud and I entered together, and he went straight to a socket to charge his phone. Ah! This boy want to koba me sha🙆🙆🙆, Alhamdulillah the lecturer only called him a mad man, he didn't send us out. We went to lectures to just listen to our lecturers speak, me I knew somehow somehow, God no go shame us.

Few weeks after resumption, I was appointed as the secretary of the faculty's academic unit, FACBAMSS. I had to work in tandem with the coordinator to organise meetings and all that other stuff sha, so I was normally in school for most of the day. It wasn't too hard because my roommate was the most introverted person I had met, so he would be at home whenever I got home, and there would be food. The quality of the food however, is a topic for another day (my guy used salt and pepper to massacre food). I used to eat the food with love sha, I remember one time when I made a mistake when I cooked food for me and Mahmud o, and he left everything for me. I ate it for TWO days, but not without swearing for him. I was also part of the faculty's team at the University-wide quiz competition. We didn't make it out of the group stage, a befitting tribute to Manchester United.

FOOTBALL

It was no surprise that football was my most interesting part of the year, afterall, I was there to enjoy myself. I remained as coach of my class team, and I remember my most memorable fixtures being against our immediate seniors, the 400l anatomy team. Our rivalry was like that of Real Madrid and Barcelona under Mourinho and Guardiola, respectively. We played 4 times that year, and fought 4 times, because each of the matches ended in a massive brawl, and we won one match apiece, with the other two ending in draws. It was a derby like none other. We eventually won the departmental Cup but we had to fight for it sha after a heavy heartbreak in the faculty Cup.

We were playing really well, we had beaten 100l Anatomy by like 9 goals to 2 on Tuesday in the Departmental Cup, but because the exams were drawing near, we were asked to play 3 matches in like 4 days. I stubbornly continued playing the same set of players on Friday, Saturday and Monday. On Monday we had a semifinal in the Faculty Cup against the 400l physiology class, my players were absolutely knackered. I remember Mahmud being the most energetic player on my team, but on this day, even a 10 Meter sprint was too much for him. One error led to another, and our opponents scored. Without exaggerating, I would say we had at least 15 shots but failed to score a single goal and we lost 1-0 in a game we should have won easily. 

The time I can absolutely never forget is the final game of the Faculty Cup, where I was chosen to be the referee. I was in danger of getting beaten because the 400l physiology guys were so poor in that game and they felt my every decision was against them. I made sure not to follow the ball to their side of the pitch lest their coach or supporters would attempt to manhandle me (I no Sabi fight). In my mind sha, I wasn't afraid because my class guys were plenty there, so I knew even if I somehow chopped slap, they would retaliate on my behalf. After the first half, they refused to continue, and they came to be placing curses on me like I was the one that koba them LOL.

STUDYING/READING

Studying for me was based on vibes. I read only when I liked. For me and my guys, night class became a place to charge our devices and sleep. We would leave home after eating half of our dinner, we would stuff our bags with our phone chargers and Ankara wrappers, with large sweaters for any adverse weather and deadly mosquitoes that may disturb our sleep. My schedule was normally to read for like one hour, sleep till like 3, then head home with my guys. Once at home, we would eat the second half of our dinner and sleep. I remember one particular day when we didn't go to school. My guy Toyeeb had a laptop on which we played PES, the only problem was that our hostels were separated by a thick bush spanning around 50 meters. This day, Toyeeb came to my place to read at night, so me and Mahmud decided to go over to his place also to play PES. Mahmud went first, and then I left home around past 10 to go and meet him. As I navigated my way around the bush and got to the house, I heard a rustling around and I was suddenly face to face with a gun-carrying vigilante. When the man started interrogating me, I could perceive a distinct whiff of alcohol on his breath, and his words were quite dragged. He was literally drunk and I was there struggling to identify myself because Mahmud had locked the gate from inside. I was sha praying for nothing to happen because I didn't even take my phone along. Fortunately, the man asked me to go and call who I was looking for, and I was able to locate the window and notify Mahmud. 

At a point, the UITH security began to pursue us away from the hospital complex where there was usually light and sockets to charge, and long waiting wooden benches to sleep on. We usually looked carefully at the guard on duty because there was a specific woman that always made sure to send us away. One day, one of them stole Musdhaliph's book and hid it because he stayed in the complex. Omo we had to beg this man before he released the book, and we had to promise not to come back LOL. After that day, we made sure to wait until they slept before we moved in, and we never switched on the lights at the place.

EXAMS

In my first semester ANA 309 exam, the lecturer gave us 6 slides over the course of the semester. On the day of the exam, I was surprised to see that we had 3 hours. In my mind, I was thinking "3 hours for laboratory techniques? Lmao". Omo when I saw the questions, I became humble. The lecturer set 6 questions, and the instruction before all of them was "Explain". EXPLAIN!! Me that I was struggling to hustle how to answer 4 questions at most, this man asked questions from every single page of his materials, something I didn't even read completely o. Wahala for who no read, double wahala for who no Sabi cram, triple wahala for who get small handwriting. As I was managing my small handwriting to write all I could, I saw people collecting extra sheets. How?? I had not even filled up half of my booklet, and I no be dullard. I sha managed to finish, I wrote some things I didn't even remember after the exam. I eventually passed the course well. To God be the glory Alhamdulillah.

RESPONSIBILITIES

I was appointed as MSSN class Naqeeb in my second semester, to my surprise. It was a new world for me, because I had never been an available person per se, so I didn't expect such a post. I had honestly never had such a responsibility. My first task was to work with my contemporaries to co-ordinate a class Iftar during Ramadan. It was a success, although it wasn't without its hitches. Drinks didn't go round, and the food was not properly done, so there were lots of disgruntled young men and women at the end of the day. It wasn't all happy sailing, as I only broke my fast around 8 pm that day, Omo hunger wan kill me.

I was also actively involved in planning and organising my faculty's annual health week. It really tested my patience, as a lot of times, things did not go to plan, but I had to maintain a cool head to all the matters. We embarked on a successful medical outreach, which I chaired, and a host of other events. At the end of the session, I was named the community volunteer of the year.

The session ended with some major news. We had been assigned project supervisors, and as usual, the seniors did all they could to instill fear in us. We're still inside the case till now sha.

I thought my 400l was going to be a walk in the park, that I'll catch premium cruise. I've never been more wrong with any assumption. Fam, 400l is the ghetto!!